DEAR DR. GRAHAM: My heart is broken because my son has been in and out of prison most of his life, and he just gets angry whenever I try to help him or give him advice. Where did I go wrong? I feel so guilty. I pray and pray for him, but I'm at my wits' end. What can I do? -- Mrs. F.S.
DEAR MRS. F.S.: Don't blame yourself for your son's situation; he has made his own decisions in life, and he alone is responsible for them.
That doesn't mean you were a perfect parent, of course; none of us is. But seek God's forgiveness where you failed -- and then accept his forgiveness and commit your future to Him. If you need to seek your son's forgiveness for anything you did, do that, too -- but again, don't blame yourself for his wrongs.
The most important thing you can do is to keep on praying. You can't change your son's heart -- but God can. From time to time, I get letters from people who have prayed for a loved one for many, many years -- and eventually their prayers were answered. The Bible says, "The prayer of a righteous man (or woman) is powerful and effective" (James 5:16).
Then do whatever you can to keep contact with your son. Don't just lecture him or give him advice; let him know you love him and care what happens to him. In addition, encourage him to turn his life over to Christ. That, after all, is his greatest need -- and his greatest hope. Christ is your hope, as well. Is He the center of your life?